She's Getting 'The Treatment'

In an effort to not explain immunobiology, pathology and microbiology in five minute sound bites, when I have to go for 'The Treatment' once a month a leave it at that. However, now that I have my own virtual soapbox and presumably no reader is eating lunch, I have thus deemed this a perfect time to explain the procedure.


Once a month, if I do not have an infection/fever or upcoming major procedure, i get 'The Treatment' or better known by our friends at Bristol-Myers-Squibb as Orencia.

The rheumatologist office is now like my very own Cheers, yes its where everybody knows my name. I usually end up sitting next to the man in his 60s who tells me his rectal and work history or the embittered recently diagnosed middle aged woman.

Once the nurse calls me, i take off my shoes, sweater, socks and earrings to make sure the scale is not off. I get the usual interview by both nurse and doctor before things proceed. Any infection, fever. new medication, good times had? I get my temp, pulse and blood pressure taken then labs are ordered. Every liquid is drained from me. From urine to blood, they want it and I give it.

My nurses are pros at getting my veins and while they are jabbing me we talk about their ex husbands, my dogs or their grandkids.

If I'm lucky I get seated next to a philosophical old lady who enjoys watching the weather channel or reading US weekly with me. After the labs are sent, the ladies mix up the three bottles into a saline solution bag. Once I am sent up, it doesnt take more than an hour to suck it up. At this point I either read or send out massive texts indicating that I am experiencing boredom.


I adore my nurses and I think my particular rheumatologist has saved me from being wheelchair bound. Furthermore, it can also be used as an excuse for a get together. Over the years, friends/ family have brought in everything from Cosmopolitan Magazines, to 12 packs of Diet Coke to a particular gentleman bringing in a bottle of Tequila.


La Coja