Sunday, October 4, 2009

Parade of the Rabos Verdes

I'm still not 100% from the Porcine Virus so enjoy this pithy essay from La Hermana before she met The Rabbit

I’ve started keeping track of all of the creepy/socially inept Mexican men that have taken an interest in me over the past year. It is quite a list.

Creepy guy who is friends with some friends of my sister. Wanted to date me. Turns out he has a long term (3 years) girlfriend. I stopped talking to him, so he started calling me and then hanging up. These calls all happened after 2 am. He was at the party and came back to the house with us for the "after party". He was drunk. He spent the entire day, from 4am till 1pm, saying my name and then turning away. He also tried to make jokes that didn't work and at one point called me a bitch. He also pressed me for why I don't want to date him and then he passed out on the couch.

Doctor Kansas City's Friend

This is a new one. This man, I have no idea what his name is, only that he is a friend of the family. He got pretty drunk and wanted to dance with me. I obliged and it was alright for a while. He then started following me around. In Mexico, during parties, sometimes people come to take and sell photos. They will take your photo, print it, put it in a frame and then sell it to you. Well, this old man wanted me to take a photo with him. I did. He then bought it. Then he informed me that he was going to place it on his desk at work, for all to see. He then wanted me to sign it and dedicate it to him.


A guy in San Miguel who wanted to date me, told me he was single, and I then found out he was “dating” another American woman, long term. Every time I see him in the center, he asks me out and wonders why I have not been calling him. Also, he found my sister on Hi5, friended her, and sent me a message asking me if I was jealous.


Guy who gave me a ride to the border. Really strange man. Mexican, married an American woman, then got divorced. He called me “Betty” and said I was a princess. He then proceeded to hit on me in the car on the way to Laredo, Texas. Did I mention he’s about 40?


Another friend of friends of my sister. Nice guy, completely unskilled socially. Called me 15 times in 1 day.


A guy that Hannah, Amina, Grace and I met at the movies. He was there alone and approached us. Said he was from Queretaro and only like to hang out with Americans. To be nice, Hannah and I invited him out with us to a bar. He arrived and started hitting on me a lot. He said I had beautiful eyes (like I haven't heard that before) and that I was a unique woman, he could tell (this is after spending maybe 10 mins with me). I recieved a phone call from my mom, went outside and he followed me and listened to the conversation (FYI: he speaks English). I pretended to stay on the phone with her while walking back into the bar, he stopped me, asked me to come back outside and then wanted to talk. He told me that he loves his mom very much and was happy that I had a good relationship with my mom. He then wanted to hold my hand and kiss.

Sebas’ Uncle

One of the kids uncles came to visit and started hitting on me (this is in front of his nephew and most of the kids). He says he is going to come back regularly so I can be his teacher. Sebas now calls me Tia.

Neighborhood Guy

Just in case you were wondering, I have been instructed not to be afraid of this guy. He doesn’t bite. He also wants to take me to the movies. He's 19 and wears sunglasses without lenses.

Yellow Shoes Guy

This guy has been bugging me since 2006. He works for and drives one of the trolley buses in town. He once offered me a ride home on the trolley. He also caught me developing photos of my semester in Mexico and promptly took a photo of me with him. One time he insisted on carrying my bread for me and then told me about how he was a licensed massage therapist in Puerto Vallarta. He can apparently work wonders for me.

So, do I have a magnet for this type of guy?

Am I sending out some sort of “I love and need creepy/socially inept Mexican men” vibe?

I hope not.

But the list keeps getting longer...


  1. It also seems that I may be at fault for 75% of the creepiness vicariously

  2. Hey, you set me up on a blind date with one of those guys...remember? I remember. Oh, how I remember.

  3. Should we make Chupachihi a Character???

  4. I had to put away my laptop, laugh for about 10 minutes, and come back.
    I'm also living with RA, although it is far less severe than yours (or it seems anyway) and I immigrated to Canada from Venezuela a few years back.
    I have seen all of these character types. And I also happen to similarly attract creepy factor, to this day.

    Best one: El tio de Sebas. "He now calls me Tia." You've made my day.