Monday, September 28, 2009

Pig Flu

I am unfortunately down, and have been for 10 days, with the swine flu. I guess that is what I get for going out with pigs.

I will hopefully be back up to fighting weight shortly. In the meantime, enjoy the H1N1 Rap.

Friday, September 18, 2009

This Is How We Do It (Alternative Version)

One of the things I face daily as an immuno suppressed person is fighting off disease. I don't know how the rest of you feel about a bunch of kids baptizing a playground with their various drips but it makes me want to wear a bio hazard suit. One of my little cousins gave me a cold and so it has required me to go into militar mode. Call me a germaphobe, paranoid, Howard Hughes esque, but years of experience/hospitalizations have taught me that microbes are smarter than I am.

So here are my new Ten Commandments of Immunosuppresion Abroad

1. Thou Shalt wear masks on any/all public transportation
2. Thou Shalt stay away from all sick people and their bathrooms
3. Thou Shalt take a taxi when sick/in arthritic flare and not complain about the money
4. Thou Shalt placate a mother of a gooey child with compliments from afar instead
5. Thou Shalt carry hand sanitizer
6. Thou Shalt go to Tio Kansas City for RX
7. Thou Shalt budget for medicine more than Diet Coke
8. Thou Shalt sleep, even though thou is young and wants to do everything everyone else dos
9. Thou Shalt eat
10. Thou Shalt ask for help walking/carrying things, even when it kills thou to

Please feel free to add your own commandments

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Auto Motel- For Quickies or your Family?

Well Friends....Let's categorize this as my first cultural mistake

Two girlfriends and I went on an overnight trip near here last weekend. We pulled into an auto motel thinking it was cheap, safe and clean. With a name like Auto Motel Santa Noche, you cant go wrong.....right?

The motel keeper, a young man just crossing the bridge of adolescence, greeted us with a greedy smile..We paid him $20, he gave as the keys and directed us to a Wizard of Oz type curtain to which we could park behind. Tired, we stumbled up the stairs to a beautiful, clean room with a giant bed, tv and ...........three huge mirrors, one on all sides and the ceiling. It was not Motel 8.

As Eddie and Adan described to me later, sick from laughing at me , an auto motel is 'un lugar donde llevas a tu pareja en carro, entran y hacen cosas malas pero ricas. Pagas por pasar el ratito'

Or in other words an auto motel is a place for a quickie.

La Coja

Post Script

The video is now up
Post Script- The Rabbit did not make the last bus from San Miguel de Allende and ended up come back on the back of pick up truck full of hay

Sugar Daddy

The Rabbit and I went to go visit La Hermana in San Miguel de Allende, Guanajuato which is about 2hrs by chicken bus, 1 hr 20 minutes by bus with seat rests, and 1 hr by hitchhicking. Although the Rabbit his friend went 'de ride', (see above picture) I went on the chicken bus.

San Miguel is a tasty mix of old foreign hippies, wealthy sunburned Texan women who dress their husbands, Americans looking for a 'patable/charming' Mexico, vacationing people from Mexico City, middle class natives and....... poverty in which La Hermana lives.

There are so many things to comment on about San Miguel and Miguelenos that one could make an entire blog about it alone.

I particularly find the gender/class/cultural relations fascinating. In this video, an ex pat in his late 60s drive by us in La Hermana's Barrio with his Mexican girlfriend in her late twenties.
Make of it what you will

La Coja

Monday, September 14, 2009

Carlos and I

Mr Carlos Slim and I are apparently not getting along

* For those of you who dont know of Mr. Slim here is a wikipedia entry about him.

Mr. Slim owns the cell phone monopoly in Mexico and in my opinion makes the process of getting a Mexican cell phone like getting stuff covered by your HMO. According to official rules and reasoning, one must now register with passport number/birth certificate .However, La Sabia and the Rabbit have advised me not to play Mr. Slim's game. If the phone gets stolen and used for extortion, it would be under my name. However this dilemma is solved and I am now happily again texting pendejadas.

La Coja

Cast of Characters Part 3

La Mortera and Harry
Sex in the City advice on love, friendship, and death

Ginger and Lola
Good Friends, Traveling Companions and Donkey Enthuses

Eddie and Adan
My buddies. Mexico's answer to Bert and Ernie

La Hermana
My sister who lives in an orphanage not to far from here. I am hoping Brangelina will adopt her
La Psicologa
What I would have liked to have been ten years ago. La Psicologa silently observes from afar.

Cast of Characters Part Two

Doctor Kansas City
My internist in Mexico. Doctor KC plays an integral part in working with me to stay healthy here. Serves up medicine with a side of pun

The Celebrity
Mateo's former source of transportation and court battles. RIP

La Osa

A fabulous, gassy and blunt celista, La Osa is a great friend and one of kind.

Cast of Characters Part One

Senora Sabia
Guanajuato's own Heloise-- adviser on life, love, santos and the occasional laundry advice

Mateo Cunao
Has never met an instrument nor coupon he has not liked. 130 pounds of wit. Companion of La Osa

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The Rabbit
I met him when he was carrying a pigeon in a newspaper. Plays well with animals and is a fountain of good advice

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Our Sponsor

Adventure of La Coja is proudly under the protection and advocacy of St Vitus, Patron Saint of Comedians, Bad Dancers and People with Disabilities

Dear Vitus, the one thing we are certain about is that you died a martyr's death. In early times, churches were dedicated to you in important places. In the Middle Ages, your intercession obtained cures from epilepsy so that this disease came to be called "Saint Vitus' Dance". Inspire comedians to make people dance with laughter and so bear goodwill toward one another. Amen